It's been a pretty busy time of the year to drop the news that we're adopting again. I finally have a few minutes to post some of the details.
First, we don't know who our baby is yet. We've just submitted our dossier, so we are now in the "waiting for a referral" stage. We've requested to be matched with a baby boy 0-6 months!
So, how did we get back here? Well, it all started when I was in Ethiopia to pick up Rahel. It seemed like almost everyone in my travel group was adopting a baby boy-I was surrounded. I just had the nagging feeling that we were suppose to be adding a boy to the mix. Then, on the airplane ride home, we sat behind a family and their new baby boy and all I could think is "we're leaving someone behind." I know that sounds crazy-we hadn't even officially gotten Rahel home and I was already feeling like we'd be going back. In fact, I told my friend Heidi that I was going back as soon as we stepped off the plane.
Only problem with that--my husband DID think I was crazy--and who wouldn't really. We've been on a whirl wind adoption ride over the past two years and it does seem a little out there. The one thing he did say was, "if it's God's will, then we'll adopt again" followed by--"but please don't talk to me about it for at least a year." So I prayed and prayed. I actually prayed that if this nagging feeling that we were not quite done was not from God that he would take it away. Sometimes I begged him to take it away, but I just couldn't shake the prompting.
Over the summer, I would awake early in the morning after having vivid dreams about our baby boy. It seemed as if God was continuing to nudge me towards adopting again. So, I changed my prayer. Instead of asking him to take away this feeling, I prayed that he would turn Nick's heart towards adoption in his perfect time and that I would be patient.
During that time of prayer, I was in a women's bible study reading the book "Sun Stand Still." It's about asking the impossible of our big God because he is certainly able to remove any obstacle, change hearts, and do the impossible. On one particular night, October 24th, my friend who is adopting with our agency said that they had just taken in a large group of severely malnourished babies. I had been reading about the drought conditions that had led to wide spread famine in the Horn of Africa and how nearly half of Ethiopia was now in an "emergency state of drought." I had seen pictures of starving little babies and it just hit me--I had a strong feeling that our baby was already born or in his mom's womb and that we needed to act sooner than later.
So that night, I went home and told Nick, "I really think our baby is either in his mother's belly or already born." This was a turning point, because this time he said, "I'm sure you're right." It was the first time he didn't counter my adoption talk with a "let's wait" response. The next day, I mentioned that we needed to schedule Rahel's 6 month post-placement visit with our social worker and that maybe we should ask her if she could also write an updated home study for us to adopt a baby since she'd already be here and a revision is less costly than a completely new home study. His response--"that makes sense
So I scheduled it and we had our home visit on November 9th. Over the next few weeks, my husband really sought the Lord and I could see a visible change in him as he began to trust that this was God's plan and lead us in that direction. We had bible study the night of our home study and as he told the group about it he said, "I'm excited to see who our next child is." Let's just say I was beaming. Here is a man announcing his excitement over the next little one to come in our family just 3 months after asking me not to talk about it for at least a year. It was just such clear confirmation that this was only from God.
God gave us other confirmation leading up to us saying "yes" as our pastor preached out of the book of Acts. One Sunday, our pastor was teaching about Phillip and the Ethiopian and how Phillip had worked hard and done the will of God and was on his way home for some rest when God interrupted and told him to go south to the desert road. He said, "Phillip could have said no--he could have listed all the hard work he had already done for the Lord and how he didn't know if he had anything left to give, but Phillip said YES--even though he had lots of excuses he could have used." He then asked, "How much comfort are you willing to forgo so that the kingdom of God can go forward? If God is calling you to do something--lean in and follow that prompting." He said, "You may have a much easier life if you don't, but others will miss out." I just couldn't help but think of the little one that would be missing out on the love of a family if we said "no" to adopting again.
On another Sunday he said, "It's time to make room at the table-even if it's not convenient-but because it is right." It was vivid imagery as our table only seats 8 people as does our car. When we were contemplating adopting Rahel, we kept saying, "we have one more seat at the table and one more seat in our car, so why not adopt her." This time though, we are maxed out. We will have to MAKE ROOM (even if it is not convenient). I'm looking forward to that.
So the next question we usually get after telling people that we're adopting again is "are you done now." Well, I really think that we will be complete once we bring our little boy home. I keep coming back to the imagery of a train (we've added 6 kids over the past 7 1/2 years, and it definitely feels like a "train" of kids have come through here). As I picture our family, this new baby feels like the caboose to our train-brining up the rear. My neighbor came over to notarize some of our paperwork and when I told her that we thought we were done after this one she said, "Seven-the number of perfection and completion-you know from the bible." I thought that sounded just about right-our seven from heaven-what a blessing!