You know when everything is moving along smoothly, life is a bit carefree, times are good and all your affairs seem to be in order......chances are it won't last all that long.
Ahh, way to start a blog post, I know.
But it's true.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
We should enjoy these reprieves in life and prepare for the valleys because the bible promises us that in this world we will have trouble. But take heart because he has overcome this world (John 16:33).
I love the last sentence. Take heart.
But also the first, I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.
God wants us to have peace and that peace comes from resting in Jesus.
As I write this post, people we love are living in times of real and imminent danger, agonizing struggles and loss. I know that any trial that we have endured this past year pales in comparison to what so many are currently going through and suffer through on a daily basis. So it is with that perspective in mind that I write our story of struggle and change.
Our little Angel was placed permanently in our home on January 4th. He was FULL time, like 80-90% of the parenting energy. So you can imagine that 10% divided by the 7 remaining kids didn't quite add up. It was stressful.
We have transitioned kids into our home before, but this was at a different level. We held him to eat, laid with him so he could sleep peacefully and had to be within an arms reach for some time.
Tension was high, we were worn out and we lived walking on egg shells, trying not to rock the boat with this little guy.
Shortly after his placement, complications arose with his permanency plan and the real fight with social services began.
I won't go into details, but it was a really rough time for our family.
Despite all of this, there were times of light through the clouds, little glimmers of hope and so much progress with our boy which allowed us to press on.
In the midst of this struggle, the Friday before Easter, Nick threw up a prayer that God would
"show us where we were supposed to live."
We had been renting a house for 2 years and were ready to buy some land and build a property where our kids could run and play and have space to be outside, as well as space for his parents to build a home to retire in.
A grand plan.
That way, we would be close to both sets of our parents and able to care for them as they age.
So to clarify, the prayer was for where in a 20 mile radius that we were supposed to live.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9
We now live on 5 acres, surrounded by trees, with a field for the kids to run in. We moved to a place that is familiar to us, we have some family and friends here. I am able to stay home full time with our kids, the schools we are working with have been great and the kids are all making friends.
Our little Angel was placed permanently in our home on January 4th. He was FULL time, like 80-90% of the parenting energy. So you can imagine that 10% divided by the 7 remaining kids didn't quite add up. It was stressful.
We have transitioned kids into our home before, but this was at a different level. We held him to eat, laid with him so he could sleep peacefully and had to be within an arms reach for some time.
Tension was high, we were worn out and we lived walking on egg shells, trying not to rock the boat with this little guy.
Shortly after his placement, complications arose with his permanency plan and the real fight with social services began.
I won't go into details, but it was a really rough time for our family.
Despite all of this, there were times of light through the clouds, little glimmers of hope and so much progress with our boy which allowed us to press on.
In the midst of this struggle, the Friday before Easter, Nick threw up a prayer that God would
"show us where we were supposed to live."
We had been renting a house for 2 years and were ready to buy some land and build a property where our kids could run and play and have space to be outside, as well as space for his parents to build a home to retire in.
A grand plan.
That way, we would be close to both sets of our parents and able to care for them as they age.
So to clarify, the prayer was for where in a 20 mile radius that we were supposed to live.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9
Well, God answered, and he answered quickly......like the same day.
Nick was asked to apply for a job within his same company back near his home town,
in another state!
Ok, God, not what we were asking.
Well, I was an immediate NO for that option.
I listed out all the things that would have to happen for it even to be a possibility, one of which was finalizing Angel's adoption, which was months and months away from happening and I was certain it would prevent us from moving.
I have lived in my same city, with the exception of college, since birth. My entire family (with the exception of one cousin) live there as well, we love our church, we have amazing friends and a strong adoption support network.......
It did not make sense to me at all.
Nick went for the interview anyway. He was offered the job and because not exactly all of the requirements that I had listed out were met, we said no.
They came back with another offer.
We said no.
Four times, actually we went back and forth and landed on no.
I was relieved.
For about a day.
Then I realized I had made a mistake because I DID NOT (and really still do not) WANT TO MOVE AWAY FROM MY HOME.
So we called the manager back on a Saturday to tell him we had reconsidered......but he had already offered the job to the next guy in line.
That guy had until Monday to give them an answer.
We prayed.
Monday I went to work at my clinic with a pit in my stomach.
It was D day.
Either way, that day we would know our fate.
Shortly after arriving, the front office called down and asked if I would see a walk-in for a physical. I wasn't too busy, so I said sure.
The most beautiful 18 month old baby boy came down with his mother. They were currently living in a homeless shelter and he needed a physical for daycare there.
The most beautiful 18 month old baby boy came down with his mother. They were currently living in a homeless shelter and he needed a physical for daycare there.
When I got his paperwork, I looked at his name.
Now because of privacy laws, I can't post it here, but this is what his name means:
His first name is from the bible and means "the messenger"
His middle name means "the Lord is my God"
His last name was the exact name of the city that my husband was born in and the one that we now live in (and it's not a common name or one I've ever heard as a last name before).
God has used names and the meaning of names to speak to me over the years.
I knew this was His answer.
A few hours later, we got a call from the manager and the second employee had surprisingly turned down the position and the job was given to my husband.
I know without a doubt that this is where God has us for now, but its still a really hard reality.
I do not fully know why and my heart is still pretty broken being away from my family, friends and community.
It has been a real test.
I have to ask myself in whom do I get my joy?
Well, if I'm really honest, a lot of my joy was derived from those that I was surrounded by, and I miss them.
Each day, I have many things to be thankful for here.
We now live on 5 acres, surrounded by trees, with a field for the kids to run in. We moved to a place that is familiar to us, we have some family and friends here. I am able to stay home full time with our kids, the schools we are working with have been great and the kids are all making friends.
But of all of these things, I am most thankful that God keeps his promises.
Shortly after we moved here, I painted this stone in our back yard as a reminder to myself.
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| our Ebenezer stone |
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
