Friday, September 24, 2010

Room For One More Part 3

I mentioned that I started an all out search for answers, but my husband was not necessarily on the same journey. I say this not to put him down in any way. He is an amazing father, excellent husband and hard worker and he loves the Lord. I couldn’t ask for any more. I’m mentioning all of this because it is an integral part of our story.

I was on this journey, but my husband was living in the land of reality. It was a good place to be mind you. We had just returned home with two new daughters, bringing us up to 5 children, all under the age of 6. We had just literally DRAINED our savings account, along with receiving several generous donations of funds, having a garage sale and a coffee fundraiser and selling my husband’s prized 4-wheeler to pay for the expenses involved with bringing them home. And here I was suggesting we should adopt again (initially, I actually suggested we sell everything and just move to Ethiopia so we could care for orphans full time-he really thought I might have lost part of my mind in Africa). To most, either suggestion would warrant an evaluation of my sanity. Especially, when measured against societal norms. But, when I started measuring them against biblical standards, I felt less and less crazy and more and more convicted.

I asked him to start reading with me. He made and effort. I then began reading to him. I really wanted to be on the same page, and he agreed to listen, so I went with it. At one point, just a few months ago, I looked at him and asked him if he would adopt again if we had all the money in the world. He looked right at me and said, “No. I just don’t have the feeling like we’re going to adopt again.” My heart sank, but I resolved right then and there to stop pushing the issue. I had read on another blog that I follow, that pushing is really the worst thing to do. As my husband, he is the leader and my job is to respectfully follow. He did at least say that he would pray about it and be open to hearing what God said about it. I had complete peace with that answer. So long as we are following God, we can’t go wrong. I resolved to be content with never adopting again if that was God’s will and also content to wait for my husband if we were to adopt again.

I began praying and fasting specifically for contentment and for any future adoptions to be prompted solely from Nick’s leading and not my desires to adopt again. I also began praying for God’s will for us to do work in Ethiopia. Again, I specifically prayed for Him to show us a way to work with Ethiopian orphans on an ongoing basis and to be invested in a community there as that was where my heart was.

This is where the story gets really good and God moves mountains (well, at least hills). We started studying the book “Radical” with our small group at the beginning of August. I knew the life changing implications that the book taught and I was hoping that the message would sink in for us and our group members and that we would start living out the bible’s plan for our lives, instead of the worlds.

I began to feel as though caring for orphans not adopting again would be my outlet,  little did I know, God intended for us to do both.

Almost done…..

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