Saturday, September 25, 2010

Room For One More Part 4

Like I said, in the last post, I began to believe that maybe God’s plan was for us to serve orphans through a different avenue, not just adoption and maybe that was why I had such a strong pull towards them.

I did continue to pray for God’s will for us to adopt again. I also eagerly answered other’s questions regarding adoption, advocated for other orphans that were waiting to come home and of course wrote to and prayed for our sponsor child and the others at her care point. We talked to our kids about life in Ethiopia and all of the needs there. They donated their piggy bank money to help provide a teacher for the school at Trees of Glory (where our sponsor child is).

Yet, I could not shake the feeling that someone was missing. Our empty chair at our table and empty seat in our car were a constant reminder to me that we had room for one more. As I would scrape food down the garbage disposal after a meal, I would think, “We could definitely feed one more.” As I tucked our kids into bed, I would imagine how we could fit another bed in the boy’s room (my vision was to add another boy and even things out-3 boys, 3 girls).

Our house is not huge, less than 1800 square feet. We have three bedrooms, one for the girls and one for the boys (and one for us of course). And some might question how we could possible add another person to the mix. We will one day have 6 teenagers sharing a bathroom (four of those will be girls). But, the more and more I got away from society’s ideals, the more I realized that we had everything that we needed and more and that God had provided more than enough to raise another child.

I tucked the desire to adopt again away and settled into what I thought would surely be a long prayer journey. I figured it would take a while for God to move in my husband’s heart on this topic, if at all. Mind you, my husband had said that even if we had all the money in the world, he didn’t feel like we would adopt again and we certainly don’t have all the money in the world.

About two and a half weeks ago, I requested to see the waiting child list from our agency. I looked at waiting children all the time. We know several people who want to adopt or are waiting for referrals and I was just curious. I thought it would be fun to see if there were any little boys waiting, you know, just to see what that might look like if we ever did decide to adopt. Well, there was a super cute little 3 year old boy waiting on the list. I didn’t have any magically feelings about him. I just thought he was cute. So, later that night I said to Nick, “Hey, do you want to see this little boy on the waiting child list?” He was working on his computer and without looking up he said, “No.” I said, “Just come look at him.” So he did. Only he didn’t say anything about the little boy. He just looked at the girl pictured right above him and said, “Wow, she’s beautiful. What’s her story?” I of course only knew her name and age (well at least somebody’s best guess of her age-you know how that goes). So he said, “Why don’t you request her information” (remember I had prayed for our future adoption to be prompted by him, not me). So I did.

As the days went on and we gathered information about her, it was Nick that kept asking, “Did you hear from the agency?” It was him that said, “Well, I think we should pray about adopting her.” I knew without a doubt that this was coming straight from God as he had so recently told me he didn’t “feel” like we’d ever adopt again. I literally stayed out of it as much as possible and watched as God moved through my husband. He kept asking me, “What do you think we should do?” I kept deferring back to him as I only wanted to move forward if it was God’s will and if Nick was on board.

This wasn’t at all what I had pictured. I had pictured a young boy around 2. I had pictured waiting a year or two. I had pictured saving up all of the money that we would need to complete another adoption before ever starting the process again. After all, we had just completed the process with the girls. While God and provided every penny for their adoption, it was nerve racking at times to blindly trust (although amazing to watch God provide time after time). I am a planner and this was not matching up at all with my plan. Yet, I had an unexplainable sense of peace with each step forward that we took. I knew this could only be from God.

Next, I'll share how we knew for sure that God had chosen another precious child for our family...

1 comment:

  1. This story is so amazing. I went through something similar with my dad first (since my first two adoptions happened when I was still single) and later my husband. I felt I shouldn't push my will or way, but just pray and allow God to speak to their hearts directly. His ways are not our ways, nor are His plans our plans. (I know! I'm a planner, like you!) But the way He works is simply amazing.

    I am anxiously awaiting the rest of this story and to see how God's hand leads your precious family. I'm praying!!!!